| I Can Do It Myself, But You're Welcome To Help |
[Jun. 5th, 2007|09:18 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | frustrated | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Ass Cobra by Turbonegro | ] |
Masturbatory practices are one of the only sexual acts you can practice alone. And because to masturbate you don't need a partner, or dish out a benjee for a dinner date, it's usually everyone's most practiced form of sex, though definitely not everyone's favorite. No mating ritual, courting or even talking to a fellow human is needed. Just a firm grip and an empty room. Still, masturbation is looked at as if it were only done by losers and the lonely. While spilling white all over your knuckles isn't a bad thing, many of the masturbatory extras may be, as anything from phone sex to sex toys cater to the alone, when all you need is your hand and a working fantasy. Or someone else's - hand or fantasy. The laws of sexual supply and demand have made big business out of spewing goo, from pornography, and 1-900 sex lines to contraptions that invade the dark corridors of your underpants or simulate the warm, wetness of a human hole. For most of us, jerkin' it and workin' it with no more than your imagination and nature's lube (saliva, spit, drool) is all one needs to set off fireworks. Even with the millions made from taco tickling and monkey spanking, it still seems that masturbation is a no-no. Something to be ashamed of, or at least kept in the bathroom while the water's running. If not, why did then-president Bill Clinton fire Joycelyn Elders? Okay, it could also have been her stance to legalize drugs (I'm right behind you Elders!), but it was mostly due to simply stating a fact: teenagers touch themselves till they stain the bedsheets. Jerking off doesn't create welfare babies, unwed mothers or cause AIDS, yet the myths on blindness and hairy palms still exist, especially in right-wing politics and conservative religions. If we rubbed ourselves more often, as well as become more open about it, we'd be less repressed and possibly less hostile. A hand that holds a sex organ can't hold a firearm. The fingers you push into yourself can't pull a trigger. Masturbation equals less warfare. Well, that may not be true, but let's all try to find out.
- Adel
feastofhateandfear.com
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